River Side


I longed to be free,
but when freedom came,

I froze.

So used to resisting,
that with nothing to push away
I did not know what to reach for.
So used to having an excuse
to trap me in,
That when the door was opened
I could not step through it.

What if there was no longer any one to blame?

What next if all I need is within me?

It took my mind some time

to drop the walls
it had built to confine me.

Like a caterpillar without

a cocoon,
Exposed to the world
while trying to integrate
this realization.

And even with this experience

the mind’s play still weaves me in its web of longing,

but just this one taste of true freedom

has made it the only thing I now crave.


About the Author

TayaTaya Malakian is a poet, an artist, a yogini, a mother, and a minister/spiritual advisor. She strives to bring deep wisdom, ceremony and soulfulness into every aspect of daily life. She lives in Nevada City, Ca.View all posts by Taya →